I was a no kid adult until 37. I had great success, owning bars and restaurants and living a very busy life. I was happy to believe that a childless life was my destiny. My wife was told it was a medical impossibility for her to have children, further reinforcing this mindset.

I had it all, and had no time for children. Having owned fine dining restaurants, I had a dim view of them in social settings, and having a very active social life they were a dirty, smelly, noisy intrusion.

We found out we were pregnant, and it scared us, mostly that we'd be losing out on the life we built for ourselves.

Two and a half years in, I've never been happier, and more motivated. I've been more productive as a father than I ever was with all the other distractions. I've launched 3 companies, consulting on two more, and lost 30 lbs.

A great parent, like a great leader, is made, not born. Inside all of us is a great, loving parent, but there are some who will not bear the risk to their lifestyle, just like we wouldn't.

Staying motivated, honestly, is about realizing that you are ultimately responsible for managing your time. Don't blame your kids. They're hard work, but so is running a company, or leading a revolution. I would argue that they're worth it, even as I'm working from home as I toilet train her.

I wont judge anyone who chooses to avoid being a parent, just as I wouldn't judge anyone who never chooses to start a company, chase a dream, or take a big risk. But I will say this.

The reward far outweighs the risk.

All great things are difficult, all worthwhile achievements demand sacrifice, and while some may be intimidated by a heavy workload, for me it's a clarion call to be the best father I can be.

It has made me the best founder I could be.

I don't expect that I'm the norm, but I chose to put party nights, poker nights, industry events, and other distractions aside for work, and get to spend enough time with her.

When daycare is closed, however, I'm right screwed.

For me, hands down, the most important thing I have done is try my hardest to maintain a solid, loving relationship with my wife. Without inspiring each other to be better parents, without the support we provide to each other, we could never flourish as parents/professionals/etc.

Things definitely get better as they get older. When they are able to entertain themselves, are no longer attached to your hip 24/7, it is much easier to start finding time for hobbies, side-projects, etc.. Of course a balance needs to be found here - you don't want to miss out on quality-time with your kids.

Going to bed/getting up early can add a few extremely productive hours to your day. I find that pretty much nothing productive happens for me after 9:00 PM. Of course, that's just me and plenty of people find late night hours very productive.

Try your best to stay healthy. Diet and exercise are often put on the back burner when times get busy. It can be tempting to skip sleep in favor of getting a few extra hours in. When it comes down to it though, if you're a mess you will not be effective.

I've found it useful to have friends with similar interests that have children. I'm not sure if this is widely applicable or not. I started raising my daughter when I was 22 and it was a very sudden change from care-free recent college grad to parent with a ton of responsibility, so I lost many of my friends as I struggled to find balance among my overwhelming responsibilities. My current friends that are parents, who share similar interests and manage to succeed in many different aspects of life, keep me motivated .

EDIT: I just read over my post after a minute and it seems really pessimistic. I should qualify it by saying that I would not change anything even if I could. When my daughter gets scared at night and calls for me, I come and save her. It's those times when it is all worth it.

I found I had to just pick one major task to do in my spare time so I chose focusing on personal projects. I usually woke up earlier than everyone else and went to bed later than everyone else to make it work. I would commit to at least 1 full hour to working on a project per night (which wouldn't always work out). The key for getting a project done was laying out the tasks and always moving forward so that every hour was spent getting closer to completion.

It was a long road but I now enjoy working for myself as an independent consultant, I have a side project I work with a friend on, and I have my own product I'm working on as well.

I would say that it's a little easier when the children get older but not too much as they start becoming more active in activities like girl/boy scouts, sports, etc.

do one thing after the other, start with the most important.

and: stop doing stuff that isn't important to you. i stopped watching tv years ago, also no alcohol.

if a side project is important to you, then the trick is just to not do the stuff that isnt as important. if you follow that logic you will always find time to do the stuff that you want to do. oh, and sooner or later you will have to quit your day job. as a day job is the biggest time and energy black hole ever.

It doesn't seem impossible to perhaps achieve better mental hygiene (more sleep, less time wasted on useless stuff). And if I don't, the time I'll have with my son already feels so short anyway. He is going to kindergarten, so now there are only late afternoons and weekends. At the age of 5 or 6 he'll start going to school, which will probably mean even less time with him. That is only 3 years in the future from now.

And to be honest, I wasn't the best at finishing my own projects before my son was around. I still think that my energy levels will probably stabilize a bit and I'll get more things done.

Also having clear arrangements with the wife might help: we have certain days where one of us takes care of the child.

Eventually, perhaps some projects could be done together with the child? I am very interested in creating games for kids now. And ultimately I would like to build him a cool robot...

I also find waking early and going to bed later helps - you can get more done while everyone else is asleep. Exercising early in the morning helps me sleep more soundly at night too so I really only need 5 or 6 hours.

While children are often held as the opposite choice to personal and financial success, as a parent with four young children let me say that in certain spheres exactly the opposite is often true -- there is something fundamentally motivating when you have children if you have the tools to optimize the situation. For years I idled in various positions, but the moment kids entered the scene all pistons started firing.